


Connor has a camera and it’s all shits and giggles from here on out

by Zara_Zara



Series: The Murph Channel (Army) [5]
Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Art, Crack, Don't Judge Me, F/F, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, MBMBAM reference, OOC, Pranks, Treebros, YouTuber!Connor, attempts at humor, galaxygirls, i was having fun, im not even going to pretend they are in character, its tradition, t for mild swearing, tradition
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-02-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:27:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22874746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zara_Zara/pseuds/Zara_Zara
Summary: Connor commits a prank, it sets off a chain reaction of other pranks.
Relationships: Alana Beck/Zoe Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Series: The Murph Channel (Army) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1455574
Comments: 14
Kudos: 58





	Connor has a camera and it’s all shits and giggles from here on out

**Author's Note:**

> Here I am, back on my batshit crazy ideas that totally bastardize the essence of deh.  
> I didn't edit the last half---sorry. The editing process was simply not vibing with me.

**Connor: this is an emergency. Come over now.**

_Evan: Are you ok???_

**Connor: I need help**

**and im fine**

**But i really really do need help asap**

_Evan: on my way_

The doorbell to the Murphy house rings and Connor answers it, opening it to reveal a worried-looking Evan Hansen. Fretfully, Evan asks, “Are you ok?” He looks a little winded and there’s a sheen of sweat on his forehead as if he’d been running. Evan’s eyes fall on the camera in Connor’s hands. “Is that recording?”

Connor smirks, “It’s never not recording.” Evan sighs because it looks like everything is actually ok, but he doesn’t look any less concerned. Connor steps back, “Thanks for coming so fast, dude. I texted you like ten minutes ago.” 

“I biked,” Evan deadpans. “Fast.” 

It is at that moment that Connor notices Evan’s bike tossed carelessly on the lawn as if he'd thrown it there in his rush to get to Connor’s house. Feeling sheepish and not a little amount of guilt, Connor rubs the back of his neck and mumbles an apology. He gets Evan some water and then quickly ushers him to show him what he needs help with.

In the middle of Connor’s room, Evan kneels next to an unassuming medium-sized box and pokes it like it’s an animal. He even goes so far as to gently put his ear next to it as if Connor put a living thing inside a box with no holes. Questions clear in his eyes Evan makes a vague gesture with his hand as if to ask: _“You brought me here for a box?”_

Connor leadingly asks, “You aren’t going to ask me what’s in the box?” He tosses his head back and melodramatically wails, _“What’s in the box??”_

Evan cracks a smile and rolls his eyes, “It better not be Gwyneth Paltrow’s head.”

“No,” Connor does a little hop before remembering he’s actively filming and carefully kneels by the other side of the box. He raises his eyebrows dramatically, “There’s something better than Gwyneth Paltrow’s head and her nightmarish “This Smells Like My Vagina” candle combined.”

“Ew,” Evan scrunches his nose, “Is that supposed to persuade me to open the box?”

“Um, yes?”

Evan puts a hand on the lid of the box before pausing, an idea occurs to him, “This isn’t new ghost hunting equipment is it?”

“Definitely not,” Connor laughs and fidgets in impatience, “Just open the box, Ev.”

Evan opens it and blankly stares down at what appears to be books tightly packaged in the box. “Books?”

“Take one out,” Connor actually--honest to God---giggles in his hand. 

Evan raises his eyebrows at that and with a half smile curiously picks up one of the books. He flips it over to see the cover and the first couple of pages. The book flies out of his hands like it had suddenly burst into flames. As if that one wasn't enough, Evan picks up another from the box and then immediately drops it. Aghast, Evan says, “ _Connor.”_

Connor can’t contain his laughter anymore and clutches his stomach tightly, Evan’s shocked expression flashing through his head on loop. 

Evan sputters, “Wh-what are---Why?? Why do you _have_ these?"

Through tears in his eyes, Connor heaves in as much air as he can through his laughter and looks at Evan whose hands wring themselves into an anxious mess. 

**“** Why do you think?” Connor wipes away at his eyes and gives Evan a lascivious look that makes the poor boy turn red.

Evan gawks at Connor, speechless.

Connor chuckles and says, “I’m just kidding. But I do need these for something else.” He pats the box, hands the camera to Evan, who accepts it with a blank expression, and lifts the box. 

In a distant voice, Evan says, “This day just keeps getting weirder.” Holding the camera close to his chest, Evan resolutely stares at the ground, as if he’s not allowed to look at Zoe’s belongings or else a sniper will take him out. 

As if addressing a large audience, Connor says, “Alright, I asked you here today for a very important task. Perhaps, the most important task of all. I need you to help me replace Zoe’s books with these.” Connor kicks the box at his foot and then throws the lid off it with a flourish, “Come on, Ev. There’s a tripod right behind you, I left it there earlier today. Just set the camera there for now and help me out here.”

Evan reluctantly puts the camera on the tripod and looks at Connor with hesitation, “I don’t know, I don’t think---” 

“No thinking,” With great zeal, Connor says, “There is no thinking happening in this room right now.” He starts pulling books off the shelves, “In fact, no amount of thinking has _ever_ happened here. This is Zoe’s room after all.”

“She won’t be upset?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

_Later in the day - Connor’s room_

Connor sits at his desk with his camera pointed at his doorless door frame. There’s the sounds of Zoe coming home and she passes his room on her way to her’s. There’s the sound of her door closing. Connor waggles his eyebrows at the camera. 

_Any moment now._

_“CONNOR!”_

Her door slams open and Connor hears her stomping to his room. She suddenly appears, face red and chest heaving. She clutches the books to her chest and some go flying out of her arms, skidding onto Connor’s floor in a very accusatory manner. 

Zoe growls, “How _dare_ you?” 

She lobs a book at him and screeches, “ _HENTAI?!”_ He dodges it, a crazed grin most definitely on his face because of the success of his prank.

 _"REALLY?”_ She chucks another at him and it nails him right in the forehead. He flinches as a couple more come flying and then he throws himself over the camera, “Watch it!”

“ _You_ watch it, you ass--”

*camera turns off*

***

“How do you--? Oh, it’s on,” Zoe blinks into the camera and then grins, “Hey, guys. Or is it Murphs? Does that weirdo still call you that? That’s so lame.” She snickers quietly and then says, “I’ve got the wonderful, intelligent, and beautiful Alana Beck here with me, say hi to everyone ‘Lana.”

Alana grins brightly and waves into the camera, “Hi, all!”

The camera zooms swivels around and shows that the two girls are in Office Depot. “We’re getting everything we need for our payback prank on Connor.” In the background, a printer whirs with activity with what sounds like many papers being printed. 

“Connor hasn’t done anything to me personally, but as Zoe’s girlfriend, I feel it is my duty to help in any way possible.”

“Aw thanks babe.”

“Besides, it seemed like fun. I’ve never done anything like this before.”

_An hour later - In Connor’s room_

“Damn, I almost feel bad taking these out. They’re all so organized.” Zoe holds Connor’s art portfolio, faltering in the middle of taking his drawings out. 

Alana turns in a circle and eyes Connor’s blank walls, “How about we don’t, then. We can tape these up on the walls.”

Zoe shoots to her feet and hugs Alana, “Alana, you _brilliant butterfly._ YES.” She dashes out of Connor’s room, “Tape! We need tape!”

_3 hours later - Zoe’s room_

“He’s here,” Zoe whispers into the camera, sends a quick text to Alana, and then fixes the camera so it faces Connor’s empty doorway. Connor’s room is dark, so she sits on the swivel chair and waits for him to come up to his room. 

Connor tiredly steps into his room and flicks his lightswitch on. He jumps as soon as he sees Zoe, “What are--” His mouth shuts as soon as he sees the rest of his room. “Zoe, _what the fuck?”_

Zoe cackles and says, “Like what I did with the place?”

Connor repeats, “Like what you did??” Connor flings his arms out, pointing disbelievingly at all the pictures that invade his walls, “There’s Waluigi, _everywhere_.” 

Zoe gleefully kicks her legs out, “So you _do_ like it!”

Round-eyed, Connor looks closely at all the pictures, “I-can’t---oh my God,” He starts laughing and covers his face when he spots his camera in Zoe’s hands. He points at her, “Get out of my fucking room. You’re banned for life.”

Zoe nods in understanding, “I get it, you need alone time with Waluigi. It’s ok, just be quiet.”

“ _Zoe, if you don’t--”_

*camera turns off*

***

“You’re going to paint Waluigi on Zoe’s wall?” 

“Yes.”

“You’re going to paint him on _that_ wall?”

“Yes.”

“In Zoe’s room.”

“Yep.”

“Waluigi?”

“I’m Connor.”

“I’ll take that as a yes,” With alarm and not a little interest, Evan watches Connor set up his painting materials. “Why?”

“You saw how she covered my entire room with pictures of him, right? Doesn’t the amount of paper that got wasted to do that prank bother you even a little bit?”

Evan concedes to that point, “That’s true…”

Connor squeezed out some purple paint and slapped his brush on Zoe’s wall, “For the trees.”

_1 hour later - Zoe’s Room_

“No offense, but that doesn’t really look like Waluigi.”

_2 hours later_

“It actually looks kid of pretty.”

“Thanks.”

_3 hours later_

“When did you say she’s coming back home?”

“Tomorrow.”

“What about your parents?”

“Later tonight. They never come into Zoe's room so it’s ok.”

_4 hours_

“Are you going to take a break?”

“No.”

“I can order some food?”

“Sure.”

_6 hours_

“I’m going home now.”

“Okay.”

“Can you send me a picture when you’re finished.”

“Yeah.”

_10 hours later_

“It’s done,” Connor whispers hoarsely into the camera. “ _Fuck_ , it’s done.”

Connor puts one hand each in front of his camera, “Look at my fucking hands. It looks like I dunked them into barrels of paint. Shit, I even think there’s some in my hair.”

He yawns and pans the camera over the painted wall, “She might actually kill me. Oh well.”

  
  


**11:59 p.m. Connor: *1 attachment***

**12:05 a.m. Evan: it was nice knowing you**

**1:30 a.m.** **Connor: rip**

_Really fucking early, tooo early_

“Hey Murphs, I couldn’t sleep.” The camera wobbles for a bit and shows Connor in his room. It’s dark like it’s still before the sun has risen. “I would draw but my hand is all cramped from painting for so long.” He flexes his hands in front of the camera, paint is still visible on them. “All I can do now is wait I guess.”

_ Average kind of early-- like the hour diners open _

“She’s back home. Earlier than I expected,” Connor looks into the camera with panic. He runs one hand through his hair and then winces when his fingers get caught in the bits of hair stuck together with paint. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He wildly looks around when he hears her steps heading to her room. Connor “I think I can climb out my window---”

"Connor?" Zoe quietly stands in Connor's doorway. 

"You saw your room?"

Zoe nods. 

"And?"

"I'm disowning you."

*camera off* 

***

Zoe turns on the camera, it’s shaky for a moment before steading and focusing on Evan’s sceptical expression. Evan hugs his knees to his chest and burrows more into the armchair, “Are you guys pranking me?”

Zoe tries reassuring him by saying, “You’re too nice to prank, Evan.” 

“Oh,” Evan blinks down at his hands, an unreadable expression on his face. “Thanks.” 

“Besides, if we were going to prank you, we wouldn’t do it by pretending to set you up on a date. That’s mean.”

“I guess,” Evan blushes and tugs at his ear, “I kind of wish it were a prank, though. I’ve never been on a date before and---” Evan hugs his knees even tighter to himself, “I don’t know what to do.”

Alana pipes up, “You won’t be by yourself, remember? It’s a double date, Connor is going with you! Right, Connor?”

Connor grunts and picks at his nails. 

Evan looks at him and then furrows his brows at Zoe, “If this isn’t a prank why are you filming, then?”

“I’m vlogging this as a private video because this is a special day for all of us.”

That seems to confuse Evan even more, “How?” 

“The specifics aren’t important. Anyways, you two should be getting ready. The date is in an hour.”

“Oh,” Evan self-consciously looks down at his clothes, “I thought I’d go like this…” He’s wearing what he usually wears except he has on a striped green polo with jeans. 

“Sorry Ev, but _no,_ you’re not going like that,” Zoe pulls Evan up, “We’ll go to your house now and I’ll help you pick something out.” She grabs his wrist and guides him to the door because he’s looking a little dazed and like he’s seconds away from having an out-of-body-experience. Before stepping out with her charge she says, “I’ll leave you in charge of that one, Lana.” 

Alana nods in the affirmative and hops to her feet, “Come on, let’s get you into something nice.” She pulls him to his feet and he gloomily stares at the ground. Alana says, “Chin up, Con. I can assure you that you’ll really like your date.”

Connor grumbles, “Whatever.”

Zoe eyes him and tells Alana, “Good luck, babe.”

Alana winks at her, “I got this.”

_One hour later - A park_

“Why are we at a park?” Evan looks at Zoe in confusion as she parks her car close to the park’s recreation center. 

“Your date is here.”

“Really?” He looks out the windows as if he can spot them from where they are parked. 

“Are you ready?” Zoe can’t contain her excitement and thrums her fingers on her steering wheel. 

“I think so?” Evan doesn’t make a move from his seat.

“Of course you are, look at you.” She gestures at his get-up. 

He’s wearing something Zoe picked out for him, it’s a tasteful light blue shirt she found buried beneath his polos, and she paired it with a nice flannel with the sleeves rolled up. He wears a different pair of jeans that fit better than the ones he had on previously. Zoe can’t deny he looks very nice right now. 

Evan’s cheeks go rosy and he ducks his head down, “Thanks.”

Zoe squeezes his shoulder reassuringly and says, “Come on, I’ll walk you part of the way there but that’s it.”

Zoe leads Evan down the park’s trail. It’s a beautiful sunny day and the sky glimmers a warm blue up above them. The sound of rustling leaves seems to calm Evan somewhat as they pass other people on the park trail who are also enjoying the weather. 

Suddenly she stops and points at a picnic table not too far away from them. “That’s your table,” Zoe bites on her lip. Connor is already there and there’s a picnic basket next to him. He’s leaning on his hands and staring blankly ahead of him, not spotting Evan and Zoe yet. Connor has his hair up in a bun and he wears what looks like a dark purple sweater with stone-washed gray jeans, with his signature black boots. 

Evan shields his eyes away from the sun and looks around, “Where are our dates?” 

Zoe pretends to read a text on her phone, “Oof, looks like they’re running a little late. But, they’ll be here soon.” She shooes him away towards Connor, “Go over there and wait with my brother for them.”

“Um, ok.” Evan fast walks over to Connor and pauses beside the picnic table and gives Connor a little wave. Connor lifts his head and then freezes when he sees Evan. Zoe zooms in the camera on them. Connor awkwardly smiles at Evan and shrugs when Evan asks him something. Evan slides into the bench across from Connor and says something that makes Connor laugh. 

Zoe murmurs delightfully, “It’s all coming together.” 

“I know right?” Alana comes up beside her, equally as excited, “They’re so cute.”

“We’re geniuses.”

“How long do you take it’ll take for them to realize that their ‘dates’ aren’t actually coming?”

“We’ll time it.”

_ 30  minutes later _

"Look at 'em. They're starting to pick at the food we packed for them."

The camera zooms in and shows them opening the basket and grabbing the sandwiches inside. From where Zoe and Alana sit at park bench not too far from the boys, they can see Evan and Connor talking with smiles on their faces. 

The two girls giggle and then Alana asks, "Is filming them kind of weird?"

"Maybe..." Zoe shrugs and then says, "We'll leave soon."

_ Another 30 minutes later _

"Oh my GOD."

"What?"

"They're holding hands?!"

Zoe punches her fist in the air, "Yes!"

The camera zooms in on the boys table again and right across the top of it, rest their hands entwined. They both have soft expressions and Evan says something that makes Connor blush. 

Alana and Zoe congratulate each other on their success and are just beginning to get up when Zoe freezes. 

"I just got a text from Connor..." 

"Did he guess that we lied about the dates?"

Zoe shows Alana her phone, "It says 'I see you.'" She takes a deep breath and says, "Don't turn around---."

Alana turns around in the bench and freezes, "Oh, they do see us."

"Shit," Zoe turns around as well and spots Connor striding towards them looking ticked-off with Evan following not far behind (looking significantly less ticked-off). She grabs Alana's hand, "Run."

Alana throws over her shoulder, "You're welcome!" 

*camera off* <Private Video>

***

The camera clicks on and there's the faint sound of a TV. A slight shadow hangs above the camera from Connor's sweater but it shows Connor, Jared, and Evan on the floor of Evan's living room with a pile of snacks around them. 

Evan opens a bag of chips and is about to grab one when Jared snatches it, "Thanks, dude."

Connor takes a bite of a Red Vine and says, "Swiper no swiping."

"I do what I---" Jared pauses and looks in the bag. He tosses it aside and rolls his eyes, "Really? Are you guys never gonna let go of the bath bomb thing?"

Connor smirks, "Nope," and pops the 'p.' Evan giggles into his hand. 

Jared crosses his arms and lifts his chin, "Whatever, this prank was weak sauce. Frankly, I'm a little offended at the clear lack of effort."

"What, did you want us to post-it note your entire car or something?"

"No, that's too easy."

"What the hell are you talking about? That would take hours."

"If you're going to pull a prank on me do it right."

Connor incredulously looks at Evan, "Is he ok?"

Jared laughs and then stands up looking like the cat who got the cream. He looks down at them, arms akimbo and with a patronizing glint to his eyes.

Connor whispers at Evan, "Seriously, is he ok?"

Jared shakes his head and pushes his glasses up, "I was never planning on saying anything but I've been conducting a prank for the last, eh, 10 or so years," He points dramatically down at Evan, "On you."

Evan blinks in bafflement up at him, "Seriously? Do you mean our friendship?"

Connor gasps and cups his hands over his mouth saying, " _oooo_ , that was sick, Ev." He lightly punches Evan on the arm and gives him a proud grin. Evan smiles back at him all sappy. 

Jared reels back momentarily, "Um, guys," He waves a hand between their faces, "Hello? I'm still here."

Connor gives him a bored look and says, "What were we talking about again?"

Jared claps his hands in frustration, "My long-con prank."

Evan raises his brows and asks, "So what is it then?"

Jared mutters, "Man, I really feel like I've lost my thunder now. Can I try again tomorrow? No, I'll just say it now. So, basically, what I was trying to say earlier is that a long time ago we went to Olive Garden. Remember that, Evan?"

"Um, I guess?"

"So, we were waiting to be seated and I was like---"

Connor groans and asks, "Can you get to the point?"

Jared points at Evan and says, " _Evan thinks dried fettuccine are like chips because of me.”_

"What?" Evan and Connor ask at the same time. Except Evan asks, "They aren't?"

Jared grins kind of manically and whispers, " _Nope."_

Evan turns to Connor and asks him instead. Connor shakes his head, looking like he's not sure if he should laugh or not. He chokes out, "You little bastard. You might as well have just told Evan 'Congrats, you have IBS now.'"

"It's genius, honey. That was a master class prank that I delivered at the wee age of 8."

"How do we know you weren't eating that dried fettuccine too? I mean, given your soapy track record."

"I think he was eating that as a snack too actually...If I remember correctly."

"No, you lie. I knew exactly what I was doing."

"No, no, I seem to remember you saying if you leave the dry fettuccine in your mouth long enough it'll get cooked. _"_

"I _did not."_  
  
"You even brought them over as a snack one time during a sleep over."

"He _didn't."_

"Oh, but he _did_."

"No, I really really did not do that."

"You look like you're going to run away. Are you going to run away?"

"You guys are so annoying!"

"Yep, there he goes."

***

_Sitting on the front of the Kleinman's front door step is a heavy box with a little white note stating it's for Jared._

**Author's Note:**

> Whaattsss in the booooxxx??? can you guess ;)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! This may be the last installment for this series but you all are welcome to drop down any ideas in the comments of things you'd like to see if I were to continue. If this is the last piece, I just wanna say it was really fun to write this whole series and I hope you had fun reading!! 
> 
> (the dried fettuccine is something I stole from a mbmbam bit---go, go hear it if you haven't. It's hilarious)
> 
> You can find me at chopped-gummy on Tumblr. Come say hi if you'd like! X)


End file.
